Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”
“Three dollars an ounce.”
“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”
“Four dollars an ounce.”
“How much for lawyer brain?”
“$1,000 an ounce.”
“Why is lawyer brain so much more?”
“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?”
So has anyone else noticed that a lot of lawyer jokes (ie the lazy ones, as quoted above) aren’t really lawyer-specific? My theory on this is that years ago, it was much more acceptable to tell a joke that makes fun of people by race, religion, nationality, etc. Usually these jokes were along the lines of “these people are dumb” or “if these people died, it would be good.”
Then times changed, and now if you tell a racially offensive joke, people are less likely to laugh, will likely get uncomfortable, and it may get you in trouble if you do it at work.
So what’s the solution? Replace race, religion, etc with a universally hated group – lawyers – and keep telling the same jokes.
Now, a possible side-theory on that is that part of the reason it’s become unacceptable for people to tell racist jokes – lawyers, what with our Title VII lawsuits and all. Could it be that people used “lawyers” as the group of choice because they resented lawyers for taking away their ability to tell jokes?
At some point, I’ll probably examine the other types of lawyer jokes and the reasoning behind them, including what lawyers can do to make the profession look better.